||February 6, 2005
Steve finds himself unable to score with Lisa Silver, a sexy cheerleader, so Stan helps him by rigging the school election to name him student body president. Meanwhile, Francine cuts off Roger's junk food supply, and Roger uses Hayley to get his fix by writing her term papers.
||May 1, 2005
After a deadly virus scare, Francine wishes to do more with her life and becomes a realtor, making Stan feel insecure. Meanwhile, Hayley uses one of the houses in her mother's portfolio to set up a homeless shelter, though Steve wants to stage fights between the homeless.
||Stan Knows Best
||May 8, 2005
Hayley takes a job as a stripper after moving into her boyfriend's van and being financially cut off by Stan. Meanwhile, Steve claims that Roger is his horribly disfigured burn-victim sister in order to gain sympathy from and ask out a girl to the school dance.
||May 15, 2005
After forgetting his anniversary, Stan arranges to have the last 20 hours of Francine's memory erased, but a bungling technician accidentally erases 20 years, making Francine think she's a wild and carefree teenager from 1985.
||June 5, 2005
When Roger slips into a coma after being told off by Stan, the Smiths think he's dead and dispose of his body. While the family copes with their "loss," Roger awakens in a landfill and journeys home, finding himself being pursued by the CIA.
||June 12, 2005
Stan learns his new neighbors are Iranian and immediately suspects that they are terrorists. Meanwhile, Roger tries to discover any hidden alien powers he may have while Steve is left at the mercy of the Scout Rangers.
||Deacon Stan, Jesus Man
||June 19, 2005
Stan, wanting to beat his rival at something, volunteers to become a replacement deacon against him after the previous deacon died. Meanwhile, Roger is going through his reproductive cycle and, in the process, accidentally impregnates Steve.
||Bullocks to Stan
||September 11, 2005
Stan finds Deputy Director Bullock, his supervisor, starting a relationship with Hayley. However, he can't risk saying or doing anything about it because he's up for a promotion at the CIA. Meanwhile, Steve finds Dick Cheney's BlackBerry and uses the contact numbers to play pranks on political figures.
||A Smith in the Hand
||September 18, 2005
Stan decides to teach Steve sex ed himself, teaching him the "evils" of masturbation. However, Stan suffers an embarrassing accident, and his ointment use turns into an addiction to masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender after Hayley insults him about doing nothing but watch sleazy reality shows on TV.
||All About Steve
||September 25, 2005
Stan discovers and is ashamed of Steve's geekiness and disowns him, only to discover he needs his help to catch a cyber-terrorist on an online game. Meanwhile, Roger tries to find a suitable job that will allow him to interact with humans.
||October 2, 2005
After his father's death, Stan reveals to his family that he was not his father at all; his real father is a master spy...or is he? Francine is willing to find out. Meanwhile, Steve goes out with his pseudo-grandfather's elderly friend.
||Stan of Arabia: Part 1
||November 6, 2005
After doing a terrible job standing in for Jay Leno at Bullock's anniversary roast, Stan is reassigned to Saudi Arabia. While his family begins to go through hell, Stan discovers all of his greatest fantasies come true under the male-dominated society.
||Stan of Arabia: Part 2
||November 13, 2005
Stan has renounced his American citizenship to live in Saudi Arabia, though his family finds themselves in their own awkward situations that lead them to getting sentenced to death by stoning. Meanwhile, Roger is wooed by an Arab prince.
||Stannie Get Your Gun
||November 20, 2005
Stan and Hayley attempt to bond, but things are difficult due to Stan's obsession with guns. In the process, Hayley herself accidentally shoots Stan and paralyzes him. Meanwhile, Roger takes revenge on Steve for eating his cookie by convincing him he's adopted.
||November 27, 2005
Steve writes a novel based on Roger and becomes famous. His parents try to exploit his fame and wealth for personal gain, leading to Steve divorcing himself from them. Meanwhile, Roger tries to kill Steve after realizing how unflattering his books are.
||Not Particularly Desperate Housewife
||December 18, 2005
Francine tries to join an organization to feel accepted, only to discover she must cheat on Stan to become a member. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger fight over the attention of an adorable little dog, and Hayley locks Steve and Klaus in her closet.
||January 8, 2006
Stan and Roger experience life in each other's shoes in a Freaky Friday-type switch. As a result, Roger becomes a car salesman while Stan stays around at home all day, both realizing these lives aren't all they're cracked up to be.
||Finances with Wolves
||January 29 , 2006
Stan gets a hefty bonus at work and uses it on himself while Francine opens a muffin shop without Stan's approval. Now without a housewife at home, Stan puts Klaus's brain back into a human body. Klaus's brain in the human body flushes dead Klaus down the toilet and kidnaps Stan. Stan, still tied up, is expected to stop the human body from stealing Francine. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's becoming a werewolf.
||It's Good to Be Queen
||February 26, 2006
Stan seeks revenge for being the focus of a prank during his high school years by showing off that he married Francine, who is the homecoming queen. However, when her title is revealed to be a mistake, Stan's pride gets the best of him and goes out with the real queen.
||Roger 'n' Me
||April 23, 2006
Stan and Roger become best friends in Atlantic City, taking their friendship to a whole new, unexpected level. They then learn that what happens in Atlantic City doesn't necessarily stay there. Meanwhile, Haley and Steve conspire to break up a good-looking couple.
||April 30, 2006
Stan wants Steve to be popular and goes to desperate measures by giving him steroids. However, things don't turn out as he expects when Steve grows breasts. Meanwhile, Francine is determined to start a new career as a surgeon.
||With Friends Like Steve's
||May 7, 2006
After Steve shows a lack of interest in Stan's job, Stan replaces him with Barry, Steve's obese friend, who is in fact malicious (without his medication) and plots to replace him completely. Meanwhile, Roger does an impressive keg stand and becomes a fraternity brother.
||Tears of a Clooney
||May 14, 2006
Haunted by memories of George Clooney, Francine resolves to win his heart with the intention of breaking it. However, her plan is sabotaged. Meanwhile, Roger builds a vineyard and starts up a private sweat shop using foster children and Hayley suffers from an unknown disease.