||Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
||September 29, 2013
Thwarted in their efforts to secure dates for the upcoming high school prom, Steve and Snot turn to the CIA's cloning machine to churn out two willing ladies. But, when the device produces two uber-fast-growing newborn babies, the boys must break out their fathering skills to ready them in time for prom night. Meanwhile, Stan takes home the CIA's cloned pet, Daren the Dodo, with disastrous consequences.
||October 6, 2013
Francine's "Poltergasm" starts to haunt the Smith household when she is unsatisfied by Stan in the sack, and Roger must conjure a medium named Zelda Rubinstein to help eliminate the ghost. Meanwhile, Hayley introduces her new boy-toy, Mauricio to the family.
||November 3, 2013
Steve decides to prove his manhood by accompanying Stan and his CIA cronies on their annual hunting excursion. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus undertake a cross-country trek.
||November 10, 2013
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. B when their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
||Kung Pao Turkey
||November 24, 2013
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday.
||December 1, 2013
Determined to get Snot to confront his emotions after his father passes away, Steve and friends embark on an epic cross-country road trip to the funeral. But Steve's commitment to his friend wavers when he falls for a Pixie Dream Girl along the way. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger invent an automatic cake-cutter for the Home Shopping Network, but their partnership is tested when they only make a "verbal agreement" to split the profits.
||December 8, 2013
Hayley tries to fit in with a popular group of her former high school friends and, in the process, discovers Steve has an amazing ability to create incredibly realistic fake IDs. Sensing a business opportunity, Hayley builds out Steve's operation, but they don't count on having to deal with the other kingpin of the Langley Falls fake ID game: Kevin Ramage.
||December 15, 2013
It’s holiday time in Langley Falls and Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat. So Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells the story of how, as a boy, he captured the legendary Minstrel Krampus, a Christmas demon who used to punish naughty children on Christmas. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but realizes she may not be cut out for customer service.
||January 5, 2014
Roger suffers a horrific car crash as he tries to take a picture of his crotch on a traffic speed cam. After waking up from a coma, he starts to have eerie visions of the future, and saves the Smiths from a terrible fire. But, Roger's abuse of his newfound powers soon draws the ire of his fellow family members and the Smiths must learn to cope with the uncertainty of the future.
||January 12, 2014
Francine tries to relive the Smith kids' childhood by taking a group trip to the "Familyland" theme park that ends up being anything but family-friendly.
||Cock of the Sleepwalk
||January 26, 2014
Stan mixes up his nighttime routine after his 100th kill, but mistakenly unleashes a "good" Stan in his sleep - Jekyll & Hyde-style - who's hell-bent on pursuing all the good deeds that real Stan would never consider, and stopping him from ever killing again.
||Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses
||March 16, 2014
Roger forges a radical plan to help Steve date the hot girl at school. Roger will switch faces with Steve "Face/Off"-style, seduce her, then tag Steve back in after she's fallen for him. But, Roger soon decides he may actually want to keep her for himself. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine become "Charlie's Angels"-type airline stewardesses to thwart an evil plan by Mark Cuban who wants to blow up the sun.
||I Ain’t No Holodeck Boy
||March 23, 2014
Stan is frustrated that Steve and his friends never play outside, but Francine refuses to let Stan take the kids to the woods for some outdoor fun. Of course, Stan finds a loophole, by drugging the kids and putting them on the CIA's holodeck, which, naturally, goes awry. Meanwhile, Hayley buys Roger's home star on the International Star Registry and claims she's now his queen.
||Stan Goes On the Pill
||March 30, 2014
Stan takes an experimental drug that instantly turns him into a "woman".
||Honey, I'm Homeland
||April 6, 2014
After Stan is captured and returned home by a group of radicals, he starts to display leftist tendencies and Hayley suspects Stan may have been "turned." Meanwhile, Roger’s plan for a candlelight vigil to honor a missing Stan falls through, so he finds a creative use for his candles.
||She Swill Survive
||April 13, 2014
Stan fears that Hayley has no life skills so he forces her to take a job as a bartender in Roger's attic bar but, when Bullock becomes Hayley's best customer, Stan realizes that he can use his daughter's knowledge to get ahead at work.
||April 27, 2014
Stan's co-workers at the CIA teach him about "rubbernecking," the art of checking out other women on the sly, away from the gaze of their wives. But when Stan causes a massive accident in an attempt to take a picture of an attractive jogger, he's interviewed by an intimidating insurance inspector who may rat out Stan to Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus spill wine on the Smiths' brand new couch, and vow never to tell the other family members by sitting on the stained spot for the rest of their lives.
||Permanent Record Wrecker
||May 4, 2014
Stan is fired from the CIA in a round of budget cuts, but since his 20 years of work experience are classified and hidden from his "permanent record", the only job he's able to land is at the local grocery store where Steve is the manager. Meanwhile, Roger bets an annoying coffee shop musician that he can outplay him in one week. To accomplish his goal, he enters into a Faustian bargain with Lorenzo, a guitar-instructing infomercial host.
||News Glance With Genevieve Vavance
||May 11, 2014
Hayley starts an internship at a local news station working for a Nancy Grace-type reporter, who happens to be Roger in disguise.
||The Longest Distance Relationship
||May 18, 2014
Hayley, still heartbroken over Jeff’s abduction, meets millionaire Matt Davis, who begins to help her move forward, until Steve and Snot discover that Jeff’s alive and trying to make it back to her.